


Cheap Queen

by honeyhargreeves



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Drag Queens, LGBTQ Themes, Recreational Drug Use, Sexuality Crisis, being young and gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyhargreeves/pseuds/honeyhargreeves
Summary: Bob and Linda start having Drag Nights.Gene finds an outlet for his talents.Louise and Tina are really good sisters.*Relationships and characters will be added as I expand the story, promise! Enjoy!
Kudos: 7





	Cheap Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Tina is 17; Gene is 15; Louise is 13.  
> Wholesome sibling content ft Gay Theatrics.  
> Completely unedited, no apologies.

The Belchers blew into Bob's Burgers at three thirty-three on a Thursday to find a group of women conspiring in a booth.  
"Hey baby Bobs!" Mickey called from the grill, and that was weird.   
"Woah, Mickey, what's the big idea?" Louise called, "Where's our father, and mother, or any other qualified caretaker?"  
"Ah, Linda's upstairs getting supplies, Bob's just in the walk-in. It's a big day," He flipped a burger and there was a telltale plop of ground beef on tile flooring, "Oops, again?"  
"Kids! Get over here!"  
"Marshmellow!" Gene cried, and on second glance, there was Glitter, and Cha-Cha, and Marbles. Dalton was at a stool with Art, folding and stapling what looked like programs, for a show called…  
"TEXAS CHAINSAW MASQUERADE?!" Louise cried, snatching one from the pile of finished pamphlets. Dalton laughed and snatched it back.  
"Yes, little bunny girl, now get your greasy fingers off my beautiful work!"   
"Shut up Dalton," Louise said in a dismissive tone, almost affectionately, "did you bring your dog?"  
"Not this time Ouiser! Sorry, we're all business today."   
"Business, you say?" She said, sliding next to Art and popping her elbow on the counter. She was savvy as ever, even trudging through middle school, hitting thirteen with a vengeance that brought growth spurts of all variations. She was bolder and more independent than Tina and even Gene had been at her age, but that was no surprise.  
"Nothing for you, pipsqueak." Art said dismissively, and Louise slapped her hand down over the papers in his hands, scattering them behind the counter and onto the floor. He sighed and resigned himself to picking them up.  
"Marshmellow, girl, where can I get a piece of this action, c'mon, you know this is my shit!" She whined.  
"C'mere, Lou, get into this spread," She beckoned the girl over with a bejeweled, well-manicured hand. Gene had already settled in between Glitter and Cha-Cha across from them and was looking through fabric samples. Marshmallow pulled Louise onto her lap and gestured to her notes.   
"What's the situation? Paint me a picture."  
"I came in to talk to your daddy about starting a drag night," Cha-Cha began, flipping the page a coupon book and circling something in Sharpie, "And he couldn't have been more excited!" Gene gasped, eyes alight, his cheeks plumping up with the force of his smile.   
"I couldn't believe it! Linda said we could debut our show this weekend. That is, if we can organize it in time!" Glitter added, matching a skirt from a fashion magazine to a horrid yellow fabric, which Gene made a face at. She laughed, looking approvingly at her young charge, pulling a new swatch to match with the skirt. He made a consenting noise, and she nodded.  
"It's already Thursday," Tina said through the serving hatch. She had taken Mickey's place, who was chopping something instead, "Let us help you! We love you guys."  
Marshmallow put her hand over her heart and gave Tina a winning smile.  
"Thank you, Tina. That really means the world."  
"Of course. Marshmallow, you're like family," She continued, flipping a burger with a proper sizzle, "You all are. You've been here for us our whole lives, basically. Plus, we owe you guys big-time on behalf of Gene."  
The company let out a general huff, smiling a little, and Gene beamed.   
"You know it's our pleasure, baby. He's our little prince."  
Louise smiled as she thought of the previous year.  
It had been Gene's freshman year in high school. Courtney and Alex had started dating over fall break, and it stirred something within him.  
He had always known he was feminine; he loved that part of himself, and it had only been fostered by his family since he was young. He knew he liked boys, but he wasn't out; he knew he didn't like girls, but he didn't know why.  
When he realized he was "full gay" (as he, himself, had dubbed it), he had a complete break from reality. He didn't think his family would accept him, or love him the same; he knew it was okay to like boys, but liking girls had softened the blow, so to say.  
But he didn't like girls, he just liked the things they did, things they wore, the way they could move.  
So when he ran away, he showed up at the Junkyard.  
His grandfather was called after he mentioned his last name to Pete, the owner; he'd brought him over to the diner and made him a plate of pancakes and talked him down. After he'd finished eating, Big Bob took him back over to the Junkyard to introduce him to his friends. Gene was obsessed with the drag queens, and they even made him up. He was zippered into a sequined dress and they let him take a crack at lip-synching on stage.  
He was a little star.   
But he didn't want to go home.  
When Big Bob tried to get him in the car, he ran again.  
His sequins and makeup got him extra attention before he realized what part of town he was in; he ducked into an alley and almost tripped over a body propped against the bricks. A hand grabbed his upper arm and spun him, and he was enveloped in a bear hug by Marshmallow herself. Cha-Cha and she were getting high in the alley, and the body he'd tripped over belonged to a very strung-out Marbles.  
Apparently Bob and Linda had been calling around everywhere, and Louise had ran from gay bar to lesbian drive-in to the parking lot of Wonder Wharf; Tina was campaigning in Bog Harbor. Word had spread that he was missing, and he was sure his grandfather had called his parents, that narc. Marshmallow wouldn't let go of him for an hour, lecturing him and holding him, telling him she'd been worried sick. He believed her; she was crying a little, too. He'd never realized how much he mattered until the drag queens of Seymour's Bay picked him up and set him right.  
They'd taken him home with them that night, Marbles and Cha-Cha, and given him a couch to sleep on. The Bog Harbor Gay Pride Parade 2009 t-shirt he'd been leant was still in his drawer upstairs; they'd never asked for it back.  
The next morning, the whole Belcher family had picked him up in their beat-up red station wagon. There were tears, and hugs, and there was a lot of yelling from everyone, especially Tina, which shocked everyone.  
"We love you so fucking much, Gene," she cried, hugging her brother close, "Don't you ever scare us like that again."  
After everyone had gone to bed, Gene had stayed up to watch the Spanish soap operas, and Bob came to join him on the couch.  
"You know, Gene, I'm bisexual."  
His head whipped around and he fixed his father with wide eyes.  
"What?"  
"Yeah, and I have, like, weirdly good luck with men."  
"I do too."  
"I bet you do. You hungry?"  
So, on the Thursday before the first-ever Bob's Burgers Drag Night, Gene couldn't help but feel his heart growing in his chest. It felt bigger than acceptance; it felt like encouragement, felt like joyous pride, felt right.  
He couldn't wait for Saturday night.


End file.
